Blogging Nostalgia

I just uploaded a post on Blogspot after a really long time. Well, at least something as personal as this. I was just thinking that this blog of mine is old as me — I think I posted for the first time around 2008, and it’s so interesting to know that I am still the same person who doesn’t like talking to anyone about things or thoughts or problems or anything. But the contradiction is that I do love posting on social media.

I think I have a theory: when I post on social media and there is some kind of interaction, or even when there is no interaction, it feels like I have interacted with the world. So my quota of psychologically feeling like a part of the world is done. But in my private time, I just rot in my bed, look at the ceiling, think about a hundred different things, and maybe write about them. I don’t even watch TV shows actually, so I am not sure what I do sometimes. I just scroll, but scrolling also only increases when I am trying not to think about something.

Most of the time, it’s just me by myself, and I really like that space. That’s exactly how I was even in school. I would go to school, talk to everyone, have fun, but in my free time, I would, I don’t know, read poems or read books. There were no mobiles back then, so it was mostly me reading books. But I really liked that space of mine, and whatever I found interesting, I would post on Blogspot. Of course, that was the time when no one really read blogs, but I still posted. It was like me sharing with me, or me saving things for myself, but also for the world.

I am not sure how to explain that, but yeah, it’s like I love being a part of the universe. I love being a part of society and people, but my personal space is also so important to me. It’s like the core of me because it’s been so long and that has not changed. I still got such a heartwarming feeling when I posted that last post on Blogspot.

So interestingly enough, no one really changes. We only evolve externally, perhaps, but I guess our core always remains the same.